Define Your Future

 

“Study the past if you would define the future.” ― Confucius

define-the-future

Love this quote and to me it’s about taking a look at what was, in reflection.

Do I want my future to look like the past?

If not NOW is the perfect time to be a student and learn how to have a different outcome.

Today I know the picture of my finances, personal and business. I have a picture of my life as it looks at the end of 2016.

There are a few things that I was surprised by…

Like the number on the scale. I bought a scale in 2016 – why? why? why? lol I bought it for awareness. Here is what I’m aware of – the Holidays were very good to me, especially the Feasts. In the span of one month I consumed much in the way of great food and beverage. Yes I earned that number on the scale. I don’t regret a moment and that number is a number, I know how to change it. There are other things I may change also.

For certain Adventure and Play await and I’m not keeping them waiting any longer. Welcome 2017.

Do you want your future to look like the past?

New Year’s Eve Must

new-years-eve-must

‘Tis the Season for Traditions and 2017 is only days away. Do you have a New Year’s Eve Must?

Some of the members of our Family believe that it is bad luck to have the Christmas decorations still up at NEW YEARS. I however am not one of them and will likely have them up until after CHINESE NEW YEAR, Saturday, January 28, 2017. So I could just put it in the Calendar for January 29th. (pause) Well there that is done, amazing that the date was still open. Anyways, you will not find me taking down decorations on New Years Eve just as you don’t find be putting up decorations Christmas Eve. Those are long standing Traditions for many families.

What do you do New Years Eve? What are your New Year’s Eve Musts?

Do you get dressed up and go to a party? Do you hunker down and watch movies with the family? What is the must watch movie? Do you play games? Do you chill the champagne? Do you prep a midnight feast (complete with all the food groups – must have meat, cheese, bread/crackers, veggies and fruit)? Do you stay up til midnight watching the count down? Do you have to see the fireworks and kiss someone right at the strike of The NEW YEAR? Do you prefer to go to bed early and let The New Year coming in like any other regular day? Do you watch the count down with young children early and party with the adults til the early morning hours? Do you have to have party poppers/crackers? You can make them….

What about New Years Resolutions/Rituals?

Do you make and share them?

New Year’s Eve Celebration you may not have heard of. (click)

However you chose to spend the Eve, I wish you and yours a Happy New Year and the best of 2017.

happy-new-year-2017

Rituals vs Resolutions

Rituals vs Resolutions

It happens every year, NEW YEAR’s Resolutions. A tradition for some, resolving to accomplish or rid one’s self of an undesirable habit. We look at the NEW YEAR as a opportunity to improve.

ritual-systemsgirl

4000+ years of celebrating and those resolutions turn into disappearing thought bubbles in the first month if not hours.

Consider turning resolutions into rituals. Integrating the very behaviour into everyday life by preparing and practicing.

For example:  I take in wonderful information everyday and sharing it would be a benefit to others. A new ritual for me will be sharing that information.

Prepare and practice here would look like this:

  • when learning take notes
  • read over notes, looking for items to share
  • look at ways to attractively share the notes
    • pictures, quotes, articles, blogs, vlogs, in person
  • create a variety of different pieces
  • share the content
    • emails, texts, links on social media, on my website, of guest sites.
  • after a few weeks take a look to see how to improve, change things or clarify
  • reward and celebrate

This is how I would take the information and turn it around in an attractive way so that those interested can receive the information as well.

When creating a step by step plan of action, considering what and how to improve and listing what you can and can not control helps keep things in perspective.I listen to a free book a day, via Organize Tomorrow Today by Dr Jason Selk, Tom Bartow and Matthew Rudy I learned about Channel Capacity, Thanks to BLINKIST. The Blinkist Application has been a fabulous ritual I’ve added to my day.

What is 1 ritual you can add to your day that will help you accomplish a goal you have for 2017?

Everyday is an opportunity to improve.  No more disappearing thought bubbles. Integrate new behaviour 1 step at a time, in 5-9 easy steps with preparation and practice.

Dealing with Disappointment

Moving into a CAN DO Approach

By 9am this morning a theme for the day had already emerged.

First we were running late so managing distractions and getting morning routine to dos accomplished in less time was a major focus. Here are the steps I took.

  • 1: What absolutely has to be done?
  •  2: What can I do first to make things easier, better, move on?
  • 3: Do step 2
  • 4: repeat steps 1 through 4

Sounds easy right?! Thankfully this morning it was. But add disappointment and emotion to the mix and getting to Step 1 can be very clouded.

Let me share a story with you…

A year ago I had the benefit of being involved with amazing people doing fundraising and creating awareness for a cause in desperate need of attention. The cause related to addiction and recovery for women. Women’s health is very important to me – not only because I happen to be a woman, but this was amplified by the fact that the focus group was women with children. Yes, I’m also a Mother.

The cause I speak of is Recovery Acres and their fundraising to build a Women’s Recovery Centre. This year that Recovery Centre was built. However, I’ve learned that the funding that was hoped for may be pulled or withdrawn. This is a disappointment for me.

Now in my role as a mother we deal with disappointments all the time. As children grow managing expectations and disappointment are a huge part of healthy development and life skills. We are handed all kinds of things in life and how we handle it, our reaction (proactive or otherwise) and our actions (what we do, the solutions we look for and the resources we employ) play a prominent role. There is a quote if find fitting here.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire

I use the word God interchangeably with the Universe or any other higher spiritual entity you have chosen to adopt. What comes up for me is that life is a playground and being human is about finding the best way to play with any given situation. Not that all situations are funny or a laughing matter as many are exactly the opposite.

A big part of playing with life for me is like seeing a disappointment or challengee830b30c29f6073ed95c4518b74f4e94eb7fe4d704b015469cf9c378a7ecb0_640 as a ball that has been thrown my way. We have choices… WE CAN….

  • let the ball pass by – like ignoring it
  • let the ball hit us and complain about it
  • catch the ball
    • and drop it, for someone else to play with
    • take the ball and put it away – unseen
    • toss it in the air or against the wall on our own
    • find someone who wants to play ball with us

Analogies are great but I’m going to reflect for a moment on a call with a friend a week or so ago because a lot of managing disappointment, challenges and obstacles has to do with taking care of ourselves and our expectations. There was hurt and harm in a relationship situation. Events occurred that were shocking, disappointing and seemed very uncharacteristic of the nature of the relationship. Getting through emotion was a large part of moving a cloud. It takes time. There can be anger, sadness, a feeling or loss and helplessness. The cloud can be a full on storm. Feelings maybe the hardest part. Add addiction to the mix and it becomes unclear, and seemingly insurmountable. We need the help of others with skills we don’t possess and may not be able to access.

I’m grateful that addiction is not an obstacle for me and it would be a blessing if it were that way for more of us, especially women with children.

All though it’s not easy, when anything comes my way I like to move into a CAN DO Approach. This means that I attempt to focus on what I CAN DO. Taking care of me first let’s me be the best I can be for others. I rely on people to take care of themselves also. In many situations help and resources are necessary for this to occur. I focus on the Steps 1 through 4 above as it lets me test where I’m at emotionally as well as breathe (or scream, cry, soak in water, listen to music or write for hours) – what ever I need to do to get to the point of being able to act on Step 1. Then remembering the ball was thrown my way – I get to chose if I want to play and how I want to play. This is not a place people with addiction challenges easily get to, even if they would like to, access to resources many not be available to help.

So today my choice is to share with you, Recovery Acres needs those funds to help Women have access and resources and I knew that over a year ago. I chose to be involved then so I’m going to play now.

Step 1: They need more awareness, support and funds.

Step 2: Here’s what I can do. I can share with you where to find more information. I can and am asking that you have a look and share the message with others. You can find out more information here and donate if you wish, the button is on the top right in red.

This is life and I just threw you the ball.  I respect the choice you chose to make.

Thank You.

Fear

“Fear is a necessary companion.” Elizabeth Gilbert
jenncockton-fear

The other day I was getting creative with quotes and came across

“Fear is a necessary companion.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I created a social media post and then did not share it.

Fear defined: verb: be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. noun: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

I stopped and reflected “Is this true for me? Do I believe that Fear is a Necessary Companion?”

Because I was questioning I sat down to write a blog about it.  I picked up a note book, found an empty page and a pen. The idea was to write about fear and what was coming up for me. The writing proved to be a bit different than I had originally conceived. I envisioned all of my fears pouring out of the pen on to the page.

Everything I was scared of, all of my challenges, every pain about lack, loss and all doubts about past actions or future outcomes were suppose to come forward. But this is not what showed up.

What showed up was the “What if it did happen?” test.

What if….

  • I got sick
  • I got lonely
  • I end up alone
  • I lost everything and everyone
  • There was no money.

Every WHAT IF and MAYBE was analyzed away. None of it was for certain. I role played through the out comes.

When I thought about how fear holds me back, it’s about hurt & harm, loss & pain, judgement, less than experiences or missing out. It all comes from a lack mentality. Focusing on the negative. The fears became more like NAGS. The shoulding – I was doing to myself. The recognition of what I felt I was denying myself.

Prominent Nags for me…

  • Health – Exercise more, eat better, chose healthy habits
  • Declutter – get rid of what is not used, loved or sacred
  • Collect No’s – asking for business from others
  • Seeking specific experiences

Having concerns and nags around different things definitely helps spur me to pursue various paths. However, the definition of Fear –  Beliefs of Danger, Pain, and Threats –  doesn’t resonate with me.

Then there was happiness, acceptance, and love. I am the decision maker. Allowing fear to have a deciding voice will keep my life sheltered and very small.

It is worth my time and energy to go after those things I want.

In life am I doing everything I want to? Am I creating a LIFE I LOVE?

Lack doesn’t live here. What does live here is opportunity, love, play, impact and beautiful experiences. So I say YES to more learning, more creating, more socializing, sharing impactful messages and making an impact and playing with others.

Sorry this quote is not true for me.

Best Intentions

2016 is coming to a close, quickly.
Today when I saw this video I had to laugh.

For many of us this video is the actual story of our best intentions

and it happens every year.

2017 will be a
New year

New life,

New me…

Who started this crazy mess?

Let’s do it

Set goals, list things that need to change, make a list of resolutions,

There done.

Where’s that glass of wine?

For real though it’s as if the list will miraculously happen.

Where is that Fairy Dust?

A few things are missing – the list of action steps, the commitment, the rewards for progress along the way and the follow through.

Planning a Celebration for having met a Goal.

Where is the support and the acountability?

Is anything really going to happen with out it?

Let’s take a good hard look at 2016 and see how it turning out.

It can be different.