Tag Archives: engage

Are You Popular – Socially Competent Online?

Posted on by
Reply

What does it mean to be Popular – Socially Competent?

Here are 6 tips for overcoming Social Shortcomings online.

  1. Friendly/Thoughtful - Do you show interest and goodwill? Are you serving a beneficial and helpful purpose?  Are you attentive, considerate and kind? There is a fine line between the amount and type of interest. Thinking of others – is showing concern for the needs and feelings of others; expressing your interest in their lives. Too much interest and the areas of interest – may actually turn someone away, when what your looking for is to attract them.
  2. Sensitive – Initiating conversation is not always easy. If one easily takes offence, or is highly responsive and easily emotionally triggered -the individually can be difficult to engage with. It takes practice and conversation. Don’t let, not knowing how a seemingly innocent comment might be received, stop you from reaching out to people. What is important is that you do not intend to offend. (Well unless you do – if you intend to be on the edge of subject matters, a disclaimer “I may offend you” may be in order.)
  3. Caring/Helpful - Understanding how people think and feel – not always easy. However you can offer service and assistance. How do you show concern for other people? Someone having a bad day or stuck in a situation unfamiliar to them – is often receptive to “Hi! I’m here if you need to chat”. It’s nice to know we are not alone.
  4. Fun to Be Around – Qualities of Fun People are they Make Eye Contact, Are Active and Curious, They Listen, Smile, Laugh, Play, Enjoy, Initiate Conversation Easily; They Care about Themselves and are often Spontaneous. Embrace what makes you different (weird or strange) and have fun with it.
  5. Knowing how to interpret and respond – There are visual signals, gestures and facial expressions in one to one engagement that not seen online. However, there are   written and expression styles online. When you get to know people on a deeper level these become easier to read.
  6. Conversation Control – The level of engagement that exists in a conversation is determined by an equal level of exchange. There are situations when emotions take over control and the conversation becomes more one sided than an equal exchange.

 Determining what gets your conversation time and why is very important online.

Want Help?

Find out More about Nimble

TechCrunch, VentureBeat, Forbes

Find Your Key…

Posted on by
Reply

Today I want to share a Journey with You. The Journey is one I took over the last week. I want to share it because I Learned a Lesson that I really needed to – it may benefit you.

On April 12th, a week ago today, I had plans to attend a Family Dinner. My Daughter and I were going to visit My Niece (2 weeks old tomorrow) and Her Family. We set the time and made the plans. We were excited.

Snow Fall April 12, 2012

Shortly before 4pm it started to snow – and it was heavy. I texted “you mind if we pass tonight – roads suck?” I found out that the salad we were bringing was to go with a Roast Beef dinner that they made special for our visit. We decided we would go anyways – we were really looking forward to it and I could handle snow.    Everything was packed up, ready to go, we were standing at the door and I reached for my keys to find – the car key had fallen off and was missing.

My Heart Sank.

I made the call – “Guess What?! Missing Car Key, Sorry! Will Keep Looking”.

We looked around the house and went for a walk in the falling snow – hoping to find the key, quickly. 6:00pm, the time we were supposed to arrive, I texted again “No Luck”.

We were so disappointed. I thought – we have had our share of challenges in the last 2 years – NOW THIS?

Between frustration and tears – I realized I had a Daughter that was looking to me to show her how to deal with situations like these. We talked about our disappointment and the things we could do.

  • “We could walk, but it’s too far”
  • “We could bike, but there is so much snow”
  • “We could bus it, but it would take too long”
  • “We could take a taxi, but it would cost too much”
  • “We could “Break Free” (by Jhonny K) of the disappointment and make the best of the moment”

It was getting later, so we broke free and agreed to plan a visit another day. OUCH!

What I was unaware of at the time was that the Universe had an even BIGGER plan.

Plans for the weekend had already been made and although Friday was full, Saturday would be Resolution day.

I had to called my Daughter’s Dad, for help. (YIKES!) He had another key for the car (yet I had the remote reprogrammed and it would not give me access) it would reduce my replacement costs.

Tidbit about Me – I have this thing about being able to go where I want, when I want and having a vehicle makes a lot of that happen. I feel trapped and immobilized without access to transportation. Another little thing about me – I struggle with waiting. So waiting for the key to reappear – was something I wasn’t about to sit for.

8:00 am Saturday Morning – I’m doing my homework; to find out how much it will cost and what I need to do to become Mobile Again. Made a post on facebook to get info (so many wonderful people), called a dealership (what is this going to cost? – Like I can handle another expense right now – ARGH!), and called road side assistance (came with the car – so towing was free – I recommend it).

Here were the facts: I have a Daughter that needs a car seat (it’s locked in the car), the towing company can not accomodate (understandably), the service department is not open until 9am (triggering my waiting issue), and I now have to ask for help again (grrr – I guess I’d better get use to this).

I called my Daugher’s Dad and explained the situation. My Daughter got a Daddy visit while I followed along in the tow truck with the car (Hurrah play time for them).

Car Being Towed about 10am

The car was loaded and on route and we were at the Dealership before 10:30am. Dan the tow truck driver was awesome!

Now the dealership was not expecting me. Originally, I was  going wait til 1pm for wheels (it takes time to program systems to work together, efficiently). I was Grateful to the reprogramming done, the same day. They offered me a loaner car. I LOVED the offer, however declined (for insurance liability reasons – their deductible -should someone hit me was $1000 – Yikes!). Thank You – I will wait (accepting waiting over the uncomfortable thought of a $1000 for someone else’s OOPS!). There was still light, they had free Wi-Fi and I had the forethought to bring my MAC (thank goodness). So “I AM” there being my natural self – playful and productive (while I waited- patiently).

  • I chatted with the service staff (I’m Great at Conversation and Connecting with Others)- actually had to ask for change for coffee (again this help thing). Who carries cash any more? (Note to self – pocket some cash). They were Happy to help me out (reminder – I owe Kurt a coffee).
  • I found out more about the dealership -online (it was the dealership the car was originally purchased at. I LOVE the Videos they have on YouTube).
  • I connected online and shared what was going on, in my world, with others.
My Car was back on the road, 2 hours earlier than I had expected. YAHOO! I was a Happy Lady!

My week since the key was lost – Full.

Family

I went out Saturday Night with Friends, I visited with my Family, ran errands for myself and others (I’m not the only one that needs help – sometimes).
I had let go of finding the key for the car and had moved on.  When I was looking for the key, I found a set someone else had lost. That set has yet to make it’s rightful home.
This morning when the right KEY did Find Me (at the foot of a tree I had been playing in, 15 feet away from the car), a Valuable Lesson was Anchored.
Had I waited for the KEY to Find Me – I would have missed out on so much. The week contained so much LOVE, CONNECTION and FUN.  Sitting back and doing nothing or even less than I did do – I would have missed it all. Finding My Key was a symbol. The key (an object) does not matter – it doesn’t work anymore. It really is only a representation of the lesson I was suppose to learn.

The Car Key

The Lesson the Universe gave….
  • Slow down and listen. Sometimes you need to see and feel vs hear.
  • Know how to shift your mood and use it.
  • There is a Lesson in Everything – Worth Watching for.
  • If you want something, find out what you need to do, to have it. Create a Plan and ACT!
  • Your circumstances are just that circumstances – you can chose to change them.
  • Obstacles are Put in Our Path – to test (The Masters Are At Work). How much do you really want it?
  • You can overcome your situation. It may take thought, asking for help and doing things you may never have imagined. It’s okay to Grow.
  • You may have to play the hand you are dealt – but truly PLAY it – or it will play you.
  • You can sit, cry, be frustrated and see obstacles or you can make the best out of every moment and find solutions.
  • You have all the support you need and access – ASK and be open to receiving.
  • Get Help! No one does it alone!
Wow! Thank You – For the Lesson! It’s so much Bigger – than a lost Key.
My Wish for All – Find Your Key!
“Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived.” Kierkegaard