So Close

So Close

Has this ever happened to you?

Your child wishes for a particular gift for Christmas. Santa searches every corner of the north pole and finds and brings the coveted gift. Child decides within days that they no longer want the gift. All that energy – so exhausting.

It happens that the gift my child no longer wanted was a Rubik’s Cube. Why didn’t she want it any more? It was to hard to solve.

Ever have a challenge/problem that was hard to solve? Silly question right?! This is adult life. I gave the child a pass on this one, no sense having her grow up to fast. Adulthood will come soon enough.

So the dilemma occurred when we were going through items in our home, deciding which items fit and could stay and those that needed to go. These items we either regift or donate as yard sale season is done for the year. We really like to see things find new homes with people that will enjoy them. But how do you give away a Rubik’s Cube that is unsolved. Who wants that?

I very casually took on a challenge by saying that I would solve the Rubik’s Cube and then we would find it a new home for it. For a week or more I played with the cube for a bit before bed. I had come close to solving it many times but always got stuck on the last 5-10%. I could not get the yellow or the corners in the right places. URG!

Thursday night a light bulb went off. Does it matter if I can not solve the cube by myself? No! I said I would solve it, so how can I do that? I googled “solve rubik’s cube“. Who new there were so many videos to solve the cube. I watched one and fell asleep. LOL.

 

Friday night before bed there was that cube again on my night stand. My thoughts “Okay, let’s see if I can follow the video I found.” In missing steps, I had messed the cube up so many times and had to start again scratch. I’m not even sure how many times I stopped the video or hit rewind.  Then my iPhone battery needed to be recharged and so did I. I went to sleep with 3 middle pieces still not solved on one row of the the cube.

 

The next morning, Saturday there was that “So Close” to being solved cube. I took a picture and sent it to my child. She was going to be so excited that I had gotten so close. But I was not going to leave it that way. I had gotten this far. Although I was not great at following directions, gratefully, the directions were clear enough that I could go back and do a step again or if necessary start from the very beginning.

All to often we give up when we are so close. We all have a Rubik’s Cube type of a situation. Maybe it’s building your business. If we know that the steps we have been given solve the problem or get us past the challenge, why don’t we keep at it?

 

It’s amazing how gratifying it has been to actually solve this Rubik’s Cube. Seriously a small endeavour on the world scale but what it showed me is that I can follow instructions, even if I have to go backward to go forward. It showed me that it’s okay if I have to start over. It also hit home that I did not have to do it all by myself. I am coachable. So what if I used a tutorial video to get it done, I got it done. The success is still mine, I just did not have to do it all by myself. I found the resources I needed and got it done.

That Feels Amazing!

So what is your Rubix Cube?

Dealing with Disappointment

Moving into a CAN DO Approach

By 9am this morning a theme for the day had already emerged.

First we were running late so managing distractions and getting morning routine to dos accomplished in less time was a major focus. Here are the steps I took.

  • 1: What absolutely has to be done?
  •  2: What can I do first to make things easier, better, move on?
  • 3: Do step 2
  • 4: repeat steps 1 through 4

Sounds easy right?! Thankfully this morning it was. But add disappointment and emotion to the mix and getting to Step 1 can be very clouded.

Let me share a story with you…

A year ago I had the benefit of being involved with amazing people doing fundraising and creating awareness for a cause in desperate need of attention. The cause related to addiction and recovery for women. Women’s health is very important to me – not only because I happen to be a woman, but this was amplified by the fact that the focus group was women with children. Yes, I’m also a Mother.

The cause I speak of is Recovery Acres and their fundraising to build a Women’s Recovery Centre. This year that Recovery Centre was built. However, I’ve learned that the funding that was hoped for may be pulled or withdrawn. This is a disappointment for me.

Now in my role as a mother we deal with disappointments all the time. As children grow managing expectations and disappointment are a huge part of healthy development and life skills. We are handed all kinds of things in life and how we handle it, our reaction (proactive or otherwise) and our actions (what we do, the solutions we look for and the resources we employ) play a prominent role. There is a quote if find fitting here.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire

I use the word God interchangeably with the Universe or any other higher spiritual entity you have chosen to adopt. What comes up for me is that life is a playground and being human is about finding the best way to play with any given situation. Not that all situations are funny or a laughing matter as many are exactly the opposite.

A big part of playing with life for me is like seeing a disappointment or challengee830b30c29f6073ed95c4518b74f4e94eb7fe4d704b015469cf9c378a7ecb0_640 as a ball that has been thrown my way. We have choices… WE CAN….

  • let the ball pass by – like ignoring it
  • let the ball hit us and complain about it
  • catch the ball
    • and drop it, for someone else to play with
    • take the ball and put it away – unseen
    • toss it in the air or against the wall on our own
    • find someone who wants to play ball with us

Analogies are great but I’m going to reflect for a moment on a call with a friend a week or so ago because a lot of managing disappointment, challenges and obstacles has to do with taking care of ourselves and our expectations. There was hurt and harm in a relationship situation. Events occurred that were shocking, disappointing and seemed very uncharacteristic of the nature of the relationship. Getting through emotion was a large part of moving a cloud. It takes time. There can be anger, sadness, a feeling or loss and helplessness. The cloud can be a full on storm. Feelings maybe the hardest part. Add addiction to the mix and it becomes unclear, and seemingly insurmountable. We need the help of others with skills we don’t possess and may not be able to access.

I’m grateful that addiction is not an obstacle for me and it would be a blessing if it were that way for more of us, especially women with children.

All though it’s not easy, when anything comes my way I like to move into a CAN DO Approach. This means that I attempt to focus on what I CAN DO. Taking care of me first let’s me be the best I can be for others. I rely on people to take care of themselves also. In many situations help and resources are necessary for this to occur. I focus on the Steps 1 through 4 above as it lets me test where I’m at emotionally as well as breathe (or scream, cry, soak in water, listen to music or write for hours) – what ever I need to do to get to the point of being able to act on Step 1. Then remembering the ball was thrown my way – I get to chose if I want to play and how I want to play. This is not a place people with addiction challenges easily get to, even if they would like to, access to resources many not be available to help.

So today my choice is to share with you, Recovery Acres needs those funds to help Women have access and resources and I knew that over a year ago. I chose to be involved then so I’m going to play now.

Step 1: They need more awareness, support and funds.

Step 2: Here’s what I can do. I can share with you where to find more information. I can and am asking that you have a look and share the message with others. You can find out more information here and donate if you wish, the button is on the top right in red.

This is life and I just threw you the ball.  I respect the choice you chose to make.

Thank You.

Best Intentions

2016 is coming to a close, quickly.
Today when I saw this video I had to laugh.

For many of us this video is the actual story of our best intentions

and it happens every year.

2017 will be a
New year

New life,

New me…

Who started this crazy mess?

Let’s do it

Set goals, list things that need to change, make a list of resolutions,

There done.

Where’s that glass of wine?

For real though it’s as if the list will miraculously happen.

Where is that Fairy Dust?

A few things are missing – the list of action steps, the commitment, the rewards for progress along the way and the follow through.

Planning a Celebration for having met a Goal.

Where is the support and the acountability?

Is anything really going to happen with out it?

Let’s take a good hard look at 2016 and see how it turning out.

It can be different.